Your know youre quite a beauty,
Now that I must deny,
Because your hairy forearm,
Is thicker than my thigh.
Your body is a temple,
They're at least alike in size,
Breakfast, lunch and dinner,
Don't all have to be pies,
Your mind is like a diamond,
On some fat ladies ring,
A useless decoration,
On such an ugly thing.
Your eyes are deep as oceans,
When reading the small print,
I know when you are thinking,
Because you have to squint.
Your hair is smooth and shiny,
Just like your greasy face,
The only real problem,
Is it grows in the wrong place.
Your lips are two red blossoms,
Left out to go all dry,
This poem works much better,
If you only read these lines;
1 - 5 - 9 - 13 - 17 - 21

Dragons

They numbered in the hundreds,
In ages long ago,
But one by one we killed them,
Our fire breathing foes.

They still exist I've seen them,
Hiding in the trees,
With skin in many colours,
But most of them are green.

You should not go looking,
For Draco in the woods,
Lest you end up eaten,
And disappeared for good.

One day they will waken,
Remember how to fly,
They'll burn the place to cinders,
And then take back the sky.